Why Men Are Happier Than Women

My Mum recently sent this to me via email, and I thought it too funny to keep to myself. So ladies, sit back, put your feet up, and have a good laugh! (You men out there, just try to figure out the humor as best you can.)

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from
such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The
garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of
themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can
be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear
a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt
to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The
world is your urinal. You never have to drive to
another gas station restroom because this one is just
too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which
way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux
rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when
you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered
belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut,
blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You
know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires
only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You
get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he
or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is
$8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more
than enough. You almost never have strap problems in
public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your
clothes. Everything on your face stays its original
color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe
decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly
usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one color
for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how
your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket
knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25
relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.