Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The Blue Monster has been Tamed!

Do you know that it is recommended that knitters NOT knit a sweater for their significant other? It's true. Supposedly, there's a curse on the sweater, and it is doomed to languish in the closet next to the leisure suits and bell-bottomed jeans.

The blue monster has definitely been the cause of much cursing for me. Of course, since I have two satellite discs (i.e. kids) in the house, my form of cursing has been relegated to a Pooh-worthy "Oh bother".

This blue monster has been such a nightmare. First, I couldn't figure out the right gauge, which is not surprising, since counting never has been my forte. (This is why I have a career in music - musicians are rarely asked to count above four.) Then, after miles, and miles, kilometres, fathoms, and light-years of knitting, I FINALLY got to the panel on the front. (I never realized how much knitting is required to clothe Handyman's XL 6'2" frame. Next time I knit him a sweater, which means never, I'm going to starve him first.)

Panel number 1 was deemed too intricate (i.e. feminine). Thus, it was executed per Henry VIII style and re-knitted.

Panel number 2 was sewn in, the shoulders sewn together, and then it was discovered that the blue monster was too short. Execution of panel number 2 commenced, the blue monster was re-sewn, the top half was re-knit, and the shoulder seams were sewn back together.

Sleeve number 1 was knitted, seamed, and sewn into the sleeve opening. (Did you know that sleeves are the black hole of knitting? You can knit for days on a sleeve, and find you haven't accomplished anything at all. Sweaters would make marvelous knitting if it weren't for sleeves.) Handyman gently, tactfully, kindly, but firmly stated that blue monster, with the cabled panel, was something that would never be worn by said Handyman. Many "Oh bothers" and frenzied wielding of scissors later, panel number 2 was beheaded and shredded. (Oh, this photograph is the sweater's true shade of blue. It's the only time I've been able to capture its correct shade, since blue monsters are extremely shy and can camouflage themselves well.)

A day's worth of knitted then ensued, and the front was knit (again, and with many shed tears). This time, it was plain, boring stockinette from bottom to top. With the addition of the second sleeve and the ribbing around the neckline, finally, finally, FINALLY, the blue monster was tamed.

Here is the blue monster in all its glory. (The sweater, not my son, of course. Peter can be a monster, but he's rarely blue.)

And one more, parting wave. . . (Please be aware that my couch is NOT that shade of putrid yellow. I had to alter the photograph to get the correct shade of blue.)

Uh-oh, I spoke too soon. The Blue Monster has had the last laugh. I put it in the washing machine to get it clean in preparation for Christmas wrapping, and it tripped the washer/dryer breaker switch.