Somewhere in the Frigid North, just slightly south of Freeze Your Eyeballs from the Cold and east of Decent Shopping, sightings of a mysterious knitted garment were sighted.
Reporters reported that a white Metro Cardigan was last seen speeding south in transit as a gift that was, according to various unnamed sources, gifted.
Suspect was reputed to be warm and extremely comfortable to wear, and was described as "putting up a hell of a fight" with the unsuspecting knitter who tried to subdue the knitted garment into a semblance of a cardigan.
Citizens are reminded to avoid unknown knitted garments that might be from disreputable sources (such as Wal-mart, K-mart, or Kohls) and report to the authorities anyone who shows signs of excessive Acrylic Overuse.
Reporting to you live from Yarn Over, this is Reporter AlohaKnitter signing off.